the circus

are we a god fearing, puritanical people, or aren't we?

now, i'm not rooting for "yes" on this one, but i'm just trying to figure out where we stand. on the one hand we have more pills for manipulating the functionality of our genitals than anything else. on the other hand, we also have more commercials for those pills and meds than anything else, yet those commercials can't seem to just break it down and say what they mean.

remember when nobody could figure out what rogaine with monoxodil was? well i'm not lucky enough to have that same problem with viagra, cialis, enzyte, levitra, or anything else from the pharmacopia of "male enhancers". i don't need them, but i certainly can't avoid knowing what they're for. but i have to wonder, do the pharmaceutical companies and ad agencies really know? i mean, they apparently get that their products are for "male enhancement" or "overcoming ED", but why are they so shy to admit that neither of those things matter a good goddamn unless you plan on having a rockin' porn star sex life? don't tell me i need to get my dick up to participate in flowery romantic metaphors.

i can make suggestive, erotic gestures while bowling, swimming at the neighbors backyard bar-b-q, nascar racing, or camping, just fine without taking penis enlargement pills, thank you very much. i don't need my dick to work so me and my wife can sit in separate old timey bath tubs on the rim of the grand canyon, oh wait, they're holding hands now, is that what sex is? i wouldn't know, i'm not married yet ( ;) ). and give me a break, viagra. as the oldest in this family, i expect better from you. you're 11 years old now, and you should be learning the proper way in which male/female sexual relations work. these commercials where the husband and wife are enjoying a quiet evening at home, one's reading, one's watching the game, or what have you. all of a sudden the man gets a "guess who has a boner?!" look on his face, and they slowly and deliberately throw their "distractions" out on the lawn and begin to waltz. is this a new boring sexual position that i missed in the kama sutra? or is this guy willing to gamble that his erection will last the full 4 hours, by wasting it slow dancing, fully clothed? do we need to have "the talk" with the pharmaceutical companies? do we need to sit them down and explain the birds and the bees, and where babies come from, and all that?

i'm not saying we should be showing skinemax soft-core, or pay per view penetration shots, to sell penis pills... i'm just saying, if we are mature enough to show a cut away of a woman's uterus to demonstrate how the new tampax expands in a lotus shape for better leak protection, i think we can bring ourselves to admit that boys have penises and girls have vaginas, and all these pills exist so that we can enjoy grinding them together until we achieve orgasm.

genitals are for fucking, and so are "male enhancement" pills. grow up, pfizer.