August 16, 2009

christian wingnuts blow my freakin' mind! if the right won't listen to them, then god might as well just rapture us all right now.

what?!

christian church disciples of christ in the united states and canada ("jesus freaks" or "bible beaters" to the uninitiated) held a candle light vigil on august first, for healthcare, and it's not what you think. no, they were not mourning the death of healthcare as we know it, they were pushing for universal healthcare reform.

i don't know if i have a tumor, or maybe i put too much turpentine in my ovaltine last night, but keynote speaker t garrott benjamin jr made some points that had me rethinking my desire to crush their blind faith in a nonexistent giant old man (until we get healthcare reform, anyway). said benjamin, "what kind of people don't take care of their babies? what kind of people buy houses, cars, and spend their money on all sorts of things when their brothers and sisters are sick and need their help?"

preach on brother!

"for 70 years we have been debating this, and we still don't have it... we are caught in an urgent crisis. really, what the healthcare issue is all about, is what we christians are about. it's about caring for the least, the last, and the lost. it's about caring for each other."

well, jesus, now i just want to hug a filthy bearded man in sandals. where's my hippie neighbor when i actually need him?

benjamin went on to say, "if we can put a man on the moon, surely we can have healthcare for all."

not only should this put to rest the argument that the logistics of this thing are too complex, as we all know that once compared to rocket science (or possibly brain surgery) anything can be made, suddenly, elementary. however, the all mighty jerry seinfeld says it best,

we never should have landed a man on the moon. it's a mistake. now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. i can't believe they could land a man on the moon . . . and taste my coffee! i think we all would have been a lot happier if they hadn't landed a man on the moon. then we'd go, they can't make a prescription bottle top that's easy to open? i'm not surprised they couldn't land a man on the moon. things make perfect sense to me now. neil armstrong should have said, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for every, whiny, complaining, S-O-B on the face of the earth."

so is that it? is that how it is? is that how the right wing ultra conservatives feel about those of us who want healthcare reform because we feel empathy for our fellow humans? just a bunch of whiny, complaining S-O-Bs?

now, i've not converted to some kind of cross huggin', jesus freak or anything, but everything i hate about modern organized religion was rebutted, and my faith in the redeeming qualities of faith stoked, by the news of this vigil. religion is supposed to be a moral barometer, a cultivator of empathy for the human condition, and an architect of community and compassion. although i might certainly be wrong about that, given the fact that, 99.999% of religion in the last 5,000 years or so has been amoral, unethical, ignorant, violent, greed and hedonism. so maybe when i read the allegories and the fables and anecdotes of books like the bible, the gita, the qur'an, etc (and i do read them. i find them fascinating, and fantastical, if nothing else), i'm reading too much into the extremely overt allusions to good will, and peace, and love. but when i hear a man, who has aligned himself with nothing less than an international representation of religion, pleading for healthcare reform on the grounds that it is the right thing to do, not just because it is the right path for human decency, but also because jesus said so, i have to wonder, where lies the logical foundation of the opposition to this movement? (of course, i already know the answer to this question, and it lies, as usual, in the green, which, ironically bears the phrase, "in god we trust" on the insistence of the conservatives).

on as little sleep as i got last night, i don't dare attempt to wrap my head around explaining the hypocrisy, the irony, and all those other dirty little nouns, of a group of people that claim to follow god, but prefer to follow money, which is itself a visual testament to their faith in god, but a tangible affront to everything "god" stands for... better just stop, i'm feeling lightheaded.

but you know what? i thought perhaps the smattering of anti-healthcare folks (about 25% of americans, say many polls) were roaming around a howard johnson's, or a cracker barrel, out in the midwest somewhere, scratching their asses, but, here is a group of bible beaters, holding vigil in indiana, to change the system. this gives me faith. today i have faith that change is coming, and it's coming on the demands of people who take all different gods' names in vain, and even those like me, who just borrow your god's name every once in a while, when i really feel like cursing (fun fact: did you know jesus' middle name was "fuckin"?).

so if the right is made up of good hearty christian stock, then prick up your fuckin' ears, because the boss man sayeth, let there be healthcare reform, and he saw that there was, and it was good!

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