a group out of canada used the most common factors associated with theatrical zombies, to assemble a "study" about potential future zombie attacks.
sadly, the brits are taking the "results" of this "study" seriously. using the "data" to assemble an attack plan if a real deadly, previously unknown, plague should hit the human population, and begin to spread out of control. so, as long as we're using hypothetical scenarios, to find hypothetical solutions, does anyone over on that side of the pond think, perhaps we should consider using hypothetically "possible" concepts to work out the kinks? i'm not sure i want to get some new strain of swine flu, and have some cheeky british comedian come at me, trying to cut my head off, because england is using blood and guts movies to plan out their new extremely liberal healthcare plan.
hmm, well guv'nah, i don't fancy i've seen a mole quite like that before. the nurse will be in directly, to shoot you with a silver bullet. nice knowing you, mate.
says the BBC, "if zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilization unless dealt with quickly and aggressively."
well, i think we can all agree with that, but what's more troubling is that, apparently in countries where healthcare is handled by the government, there is serious concern about zombie attacks! good god, what are we in for, obamacare? mothers in texas have already started eating the heads off of their zombie babies, for lack of proper biological, or ballistic defenses, and we haven't had nearly as much time to dedicate our sharpest minds to the zombie defense concern.
still more troubling is the fact that, if we are basing this potential disaster on the most common factors associated with theatrical zombies, then the black guy dies first. great! so obama socializes our healthcare system, then dies in a zombie attack, leaving us all to deal with our zombie problem by waiting in ungodly lines for generic anti-zombification pills! thanks, obama! what's next? you gonna cure cancer by unleashing the vampires on us? solve the auto crisis by genetically mutating us all into centaurs? bring peace to israel with a diplomatic team of hyper-intelligent wolfmen?
i didn't vote for wolfmen, obama! down with barack ozomba! no more ozombacare!
oh, wait, did that quote say, "if zombies actually existed"?
my bad, i guess i should make sure i have all the facts before i start yelling my head off about things in a public forum. boy, if i had, like, gone to a town hall meeting and yelled out crazy stuff like that, i'd probably look like a total idiot...
2 comments:
Really, BBC? How stupid do you think we are that if zombies appeared and tried to attack no one would know what to do? Thanks BBC, now we know to not take our time and rock them to sleep.
all the best zombie movies are american, anyway. they don't know what they are talking about.
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