mayor of roubaix, france wages war on mayor mcCheese. declares, "you promised we would eat cheap crap... you lied!"

and who pays the price?

the mayor of flavor country (that's you, stupid!)

the mayor of roubaix, france has filed a lawsuit against quick, a belgian fast food burger chain that came to being when a quizno's franchise raw dogged a mcdonalds out back behind the long john silver's, and offers such delectable comestibles as the long bacon, the long chicken, the long fish, and the long painful shit.

i say, pick your battles, and don't pick on the little guy!

france is the king of fine cuisine, america is the king of fast food. you wanna fight the fast food industry, you pick on someone your own size, france.

the good ol' US of A is good at two things, eating insane amounts of nasty crap in one sitting (sidebar, we are also pretty good at sitting), and repeatedly penetrating more respectable cultures with our giant figurative ameripenis.

quick is a feeble showing in the fast food market when compared to america's more overtly sexual long john silver's, in-n-out burger, and wahoo's fish taco. sadly, quick missed the obvious sexual reference when they opted against the marketing slogan, "stop in for a quickie", whereas bold american fast food offerings such as, "finger lickin' good" and "if it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face" seem one step away from declaring "pop in for a nooner, we'll get all up in them guts" or "stick it in your mouth, then we'll go to the bathroom where it really gets rough". and while the big mac has become so synonymous with large cock, that customers have been known to find condoms under their crinkle cut pickles, quick's softy banana hardly smacks of raw passion and greasy meat between your buns. hell, quick ads have some cheesy soccer player happily autographing a hamburger bun, we got kim kardashian licking ranch dressing off her nipple in the bathtub! when it comes (cums?) to fast food, you can't outsex a country that has secret menu items called the mcGangbang, and "animal style". why we haven't invented a strap on dildo made of pulverized hamburger and fried potato is beyond me at this point (i call it the double bacon penetrator, and it's patent pending, as is the spicy chicken penetrator, capt'n tasty's wee willy fish fingers of passion, and the deli select artisan paninitrator. these are the jokes, people. if you ain't laughing, i got nothing else for ya)

but the veritable vacuum of sexual prowess exhibited by quick has nothing to do with why the mayor of sexe de bout, france is suing them. no no, it's the impending void of disease ridden, knuckle, bowel, and beak meat in their sandwiches.

oh, france, you complain about american cuisine, but when it all comes down, you are the namesake of our fast food staple, the julienne fried potato (or freedom fry, if you will). though you may mock a country where arby's roast beef sandwich offers fully 9 variations of it's basic roast beef before vegetables enter the condiment spectrum (is horsey sauce a vegetable?), lettuce and tomatoes trumped a whopping 4 times over by hot nacho cheese, when quick burger decides that they will switch from the traditional fast food offering of ground lips and assholes on a bun to halal meet only, well, we certainly see your true colors, don't we? oh, when it's time to insult the americans, you bleed blue white and red, but when your greasy meat pucks are at stake, it's the good ol' red white and... blue. uh, anyway.

in case you don't know what halal meat is, it's a lot like kosher. basically, you have to know where the meat came from, it can't be nasty parts of the animal, or something that you had to rinse feces off of, or come from an animal that lived or died inhumanely or unnaturally. so what we might consider free range, grade A, organic beef in the states would fall short of halal only because it hasn't been blessed in the name of allah.

quick has decided to switch to all halal meat in france because france has a large muslim population, but this apparently doesn't fly with mayor mcFromage. he thinks that a restaurant that wants to serve a certain kind of food is discriminating against people who don't want to eat that food.

huh?

so an oyster bar is discriminating against people who are allergic to shellfish? and pubs are discriminating against recovering alcoholics? (actually those two would be more like how a burger joint in a muslim neighborhood in france that refuses to serve halal meat is discriminating against muslims, if one were so inclined to cry discrimination, mr mayor). are mexican restaurants discriminating against people who feel like mediterranean tonight (anyone else feeling like mediterranean tonight?)? is best buy discriminating against the amish? are george clinton and the parliament funkadelic discriminating against yodeling fans?

what are you, simple?

this restaurant can serve whatever kind of food it wants, and if you don't like it, don't eat there.

that's how a free market works.

if i want to stand on the corner and offer to step on your testicles for a dollar, that's my prerogative. nobody's forcing you to pay for my services, though, so quit bitching. and don't sue me because you'd rather have some angry dominatrix in stilettos step on your testicles (anyone else feel like having an angry... ah, i'll just check craigslist), and certainly don't sue me because i'm a muslim, and you hate my people and want us to live miserably until we all die off.

but this story shouldn't come as much of a surprise from france where there has been a growing anti-muslim attitude in the cheese and menthol scented air.

so let's bring 'er on home, shall we?

france loves nasty, questionable fast food, and don't want to healthy up for nobody, nohow.

france hates muslims for seemingly no reason at all.

france is law suit happy.

france prefers food with names that sound like novelty dildoes.

france is america?