delusions of grandeur kind of sting on the way out...

recently, the associated press released a photo journal by photographer julie jacobson. the journal is a revealing account of the war in افغانستان (afghanistan, and if you're wondering why i've developed the habit of using the arabic spelling for proper arab names, it is because there is no true phonetic translation between the two alphabets, therefore proper names can only be pronounced correctly when read in the language of origin), and depicts, through words, and images, the death of a marine during a fire fight with the taliban.

she, and the AP have come under fire themselves for this release as being too graphic, or perhaps, in some way, disrespectful of the soldiers and the job they do.

another cause for embarrassment that i want to be a part of the media.

i think it bears stating that many countries outside of the US criticize our media coverage of war as being not only one sided, but censored in regards to violence, and death.

in regards to war, there is no more important duty for the media than to spread the realities of violence and death. otherwise what incentive do we as humans have to come to our senses and stop fighting over intangibles like religion and politics, or, for that matter, tangibles like oil, money, or territorial demarcations.

that we can take up arms against one another for any reason whatsoever, that we can kill each other point blank, and that we can sit aside, while other do this in our names, and only wish that we didn't have to see the bloody parts, just the noble parts where the statues get torn down, or the bad guys get escorted off in chains, or the masses of people wave our flag, and cheer our efforts, is pure bold faced insensitivity, and stupidity, and is contrary to everything we claim to embrace as a species to set ourselves apart from the "beasts".

that we can happily chomp into a hamburger, so long as no one is talking about how to slaughter and break a cow carcass, that we can hunt down the best deal on a pair of shoes, so long as no one itemizes the human rights abuses at the factory that produced them, that we can have any opinion whatsoever on war so long as we never have to see the nasty parts where people lie dying and dismembered, or crying for their lost companions, or begging to come home, that we can pacify ourselves just long enough for the war to end, then get riled up when oliver stone or michael moore make a movie about it years later is perhaps more troubling than war itself.

you may find the photo journal by clicking the related threat level (red white and blues), or by clicking here.

but in case you are too squeamish to deal with it, the key photos are included below. deal with it.

is michael jackson in the ground, yet? and if so, can we throw the news story in there with him, and just hand me a shovel. i'll give this thing a proper burial.

it happened when dale eanhardt died, too.

people who had never met the guy, and never even had their lives touched by him directly or indirectly, aside from the fact that they liked to watch him on tv, are weeping like confused children.

no, i'm not sad michael jackson is dead. in fact, at first i was a little bit happy for the guy. he lived a fucked up, painful life. he is probably a lot less miserable right now. the only problem was, he might be out of his misery, but michael jackson's death put him right smack dab in the middle of our misery. shut the hell up about him, already. there are two reasons michael dying is a good thing. one: he's better off dead. two: the simpsons ran both the bartman video in its entirety, and the classic episode in which homer is commited to a mental institution where he befriends a michael jackson impersonator. these simpsons pieces brought back memories of a time when the simpsons was, without a doubt, the best thing to happen to television, rather than the inane, hacky, recycled crap it is today.

but the state of the simpsons is beside the point. these simpsons memories also stirred up my nostalgia for a time when i gave two shits about michael jackson; a time when i just had to watch the premier of his new video, a time when i memorized the words to his songs, and practiced dancing like him in my bedroom while i blasted thriller or beat it, a time when i would go out of my way to watch the wiz. jackson made some great music, sure, but he stopped making great music some time ago. quit clinging. it's not like his death in any way affects the chances that i will bump into him at the long john silver's and become his new BFF... yup, chances are still zero. not that i would want to be michael jackson's BFF. i'd end up at some deposition, explaining under oath about how he does or doesn't fondle little boys.

what's more, i don't think michael jackson went to heaven. for one, i don't think "heaven" exists. but mostly because i think heaven is not so much a place you go to after you die, but the state of your conscience at the time of death. to face death with confidence, with no regrets, with a feeling of satisfaction with your life; that's heaven. death as an afterlife? as an afterlife, to be carried on, with love, in the hearts and minds of those you leave behind, that is heaven as an afterlife, and michael jackson certainly will have that. people won't shut up about that. but to die a troubled soul. that is hell. to die knowing that your life was nothing more than an empty, materialistic, orgy of money, celebrity, and plastic, hollow, love. to die knowing that all you did with your life was try to be something you're not, and you never achieved this, but instead allowed this to cripple your soul. to die knowing that, whether or not you truly hurt other people, or whether or not you meant to, that you lived a life that caused people, for decades, to believe, with certainty, that you did. to know that your death meant nothing more to your family than free publicity to move some of their own wares, and that the people who "cared" most about you, are people that never knew the first thing about you, never saw the real you, and never loved you for who you are. to believe that the person you really are has to be hidden, to be mutilated into something that people can love more than the the real you. to look at the man in the mirror and not know who he is, or worse yet, to not love him. that is hell.

and i don't care how many weeping morons you pack into the staples center, or how many cars you get backed up on the 405 (like any one would notice), nothing is going to change the way michael felt about his life, now.

the circus says: time to stick your head between your knees and shit your pants! in no particular order.

just when you thought the world was safe from mad cow, monkey pox, SARS, anthrax, west nile virus, african killer bees, bird flu, insane gas prices, salmonella in generic peanut butter, salmonella in spinach, salmonella in almonds, salmonella in tomatoes, human body parts in your chili, transfatty acids in everything, shellfish allergies, abortion crazed gay pot smoking vegan hippies, adam sandler movies, disco fever, french fries, french bread, french kissing, french stewart, and canadian civil war* comes yet another reason for elderly asian people to wear surgical masks in public: SWINE FLU!!!!!

* in an ironic twist, after 9-11, W ordered all french canadians to be called freedom canadians, but when the war struck, they were first to support the queens tyrannical rule

mon Dieu! les porcs seront nos maîtres!!!

pardon my freedom, but i'm a little freaked out here. people, if you've got any duct tape and plastic wrap left over from the anthrax scare, seal yourself into a makeshift panic room, and pray that jesus raptures your ass up to heaven before the half-man/half-pig zombies relearn how to open doors.

oh sure, the intelligencia, aka modern science, would have you believe that swine flu, like all the other things on the list of terror, is no more deadly than regular flu, no more a threat to our lives than suffocating to death in a house thathas been hermetically sealed with items i found under my kitchen sink. but who are you going to trust here? some "scientist" with some "degree" in a "relevant area of study" from an "institution of higher learning" and "years of experience in the field", or sexy local news correspondent gasia mikaelian? her name may sound like a imminent biological threat i should be cowering in horror from, but her body says, "don't fear, mi amor, i shall hold you safe next to my nurturing bosom."

one thing these quack scientists will cop to is something more shocking and appalling than the fact that we genetically alter chickens then deep fry them in transfatty acid-rich beef tallow and eat them despite bird flu, mad cow, obesity, and salmonella all being potential hazards with this plan. because, you see, when we kentucky fry our "chicken" we are proving that nature is our bitch. we are making an example of those 40lb 6 legged birds. but what i'm about to tell you now will make your head explode. this particular case of swine flu evolved from a combination of birdand swine flu!!!!!!! now i know i don't have to tell you what this means, but i will anyway. THE PIGS AND THE BIRDS ARE FUCKING, AND ITS WORKING!

gives new immediacy to the old expression, gay unicorn robots will make humans their powerless sex slave underlings when pigs fly. doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?!

THE PIGS ARE CLEARED FOR TAKE-OFF, PEOPLE! and i can't stop shitting my pants long enough to load my gun with frozen meat bullets!

well i'm not going to lay around in my own feces while big mama science snow balls me (wait, that's not right...)

the scienticians tell us there have been no deaths in america due to swine flu. but when forced to honestly answer to badgering pundits, the truth comes spilling out like our guts from oozing swine flu sores (i assume), "if enough people became infected in the US, there is certainly a chance that some of those infected might die". is anyone else reading too far into this?

in case you can't see the writing on the wall here, let me spell it out for you nice and clear: if enough people are affected by something, WE ARE ALL GOING TOO DIE! think about it, people. i don't know the hard facts here, but there must be dozens of people dropping dead all over the world from all variety of causes every day. DOZENS! do you know how many a dozen is? now pluralize that by multiple! possibly that many deaths the world over, every single day!
imagine all the things we could be dying from, totally unawares. we just need to start connecting the dots. for example, did you know that only a small handful of the people who have ever been born ambidextrous are still alive?

AMBIDEXTRIA: NATURE'S TWO-HANDED KILLER!

did you also know that hardly a day goes by in which a day goes by in which a really old person does not die?
GERIATRIC PLAGUE DESTROYING SENIOR POPULATION, NO DECLINE IN USE OF 4% DISCOUNT AT DENNY'S

what about this little statistic? everyone who was alive during the american revolution IS DEAD.

CASUALTIES OF AMERICAN REVOLUTION REACH ALL TIME HIGH: ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE NEW WORLD COLONIES NOW PRESUMED DEAD OR M.I.A.

here's another little nugget: there is no life on mars. NO LIFE.

ALL LIFE ON MARS KILLED IN ANTI-ALIEN HOLOCAUST, PERPETRATOR HIDES BODIES REAL GOOD, ESCAPES TO NEW YORK, PLOTS TO ATTACK MIDDLE CLASS AMERICANS WITH DISPOSABLE INCOME

but the most frightening statistic of all is something they won't ever tell you down at the lab. something so shocking that i will end it on this note, as you will all no doubt run, screaming and flailing your limbs from the horror on your computer screen. if you think you are prepared please read on...

of all the humans ever born, that means EVER, from adam to present day and into the future (thats like over a gazillion people) only approximately 6.5 billion have not died.

LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN HUMANS IS BIRTH. BE VERY AFRAID!